Bad News From The Underworld

Yep, it’s that man again. Should he ever get around to publishing his long-threatened memoir Vampire From Outer Space, we can look forward to many more anecdotes like this:

I was a male prostitute for about two years up until 1959. What it was, I worked for a psychotherapist who helped out burns victims. If you were a woman burns victim and you wanted to be caressed after a skin-graft, or a widow who wanted to be loved again, or you were a blind woman and you’d never had a man’s penis in your mouth or hand, somebody would come in and do all that shit as part of the therapy. And it was me and some others. It was all in the context of a doctor’s office between nine to five. If you’ve ever made love to a woman with burns all over her body, you can make love to any slob anywhere. I know every trick.

Kim Fowley – Bad News From The Underworld

Death To False Metal: the art of Luke Caulfield

Luke Caulfield, son of Patrick Caulfield, graduated from Slade art school in 2000 and for his first show produced a series of large-scale photorealist paintings of teenage metal-heads. Was this nothing more than the then-fashionable trend for ironic metal (Iron Maiden t-shirts in fashion shoots, Air Guitar competitions, the end of the pier show that was The Darkness) co-opted by high art lite, or was it – as some suggested – a reference to teenage angst and the proud defiance of the outsider?

He’s since moved on from this subject matter, creating an alter-ego for himself and quite literally painting himself into a corner, but it’s these paintings I keep coming back to. I grew up during the New Wave of British Heavy Metal scene of the early 80’s, and remember how tribal the school playgrounds were back then, with the most shunned primates finding mutual support behind a defensive wall of black screen-printed t-shirts, too-stiff denim jackets and bullet belts bought from the Army & Navy shop. I only withdrew completely with the advent of poodle metal – something I absolutely refused to tolerate - but I retained an admiration for those who could maintain their stance and stay true to the metal.

Films like This Is Spinal Tap, The Comic Strip’s Bad News and More Bad News, and the legendary Heavy Metal Parking Lot, may have been designed to rip the piss out of the absurdity of metal, but they also inadvertently celebrate it, by highlighting how much more basic caveman thrills could be had as an ‘electric warrior, rather than moping around pretending to be Morrissey. And when you’re seventeen caveman thrills are pretty much what it’s all about.

There’s no sign of those thrills in Caulfield’s paintings though, just an earnest defiance towards a world that won’t let them be. These young men seem doomed, even if it’s just to their own failure. Destined for mechanic’s jobs in failing auto-repair businesses, or fork-lift drivers in supermarket warehouses, they know that this is as good as their lives will ever get, and once school is out forever they will see all their naive hopes and dreams pummelled into the dust by the brute monotony of the adult world. The music they love promises crazy nights, wild women, action, fire, blood in the streets, Blitzkrieg, Valhalla, and Ragnarok, all of which seems a very long way off when your stood at a bus stop on a wet Wednesday morning in Wakefield. And so, in closing, there’s only really one thing left to say:

Bad News – Warriors of Genghis Khan

Pussy Walk

Women, for centuries not having access to pornography and now unable to bear looking at the muck on the supermarket shelves, are astonished. Women do not believe that men believe what pornography says about women. But they do. From the worst to the best of them, they do.
Andrea Dworkin

The thing is… I don’t like the muck on the supermarket shelves (and don’t think it even belongs there in the first place), mainly because of what it says about men. The implication is that we are all testosterone-enslaved fuckwits obsessed with football, cars and tits. I wasn’t even like that when I was 17, when your gonads really can guide your every waking thought. But, recalling the words of J.G. Ballard (“A widespread taste for pornography means that nature is alerting is to some threat of extinction.”)  I can see beyond the established marketing ethos that “tits sell anything” and recognise, as he did, a deeper psychological impulse at work.

And perhaps that’s what Iggy had in mind when he wrote this song, one of the dumbest you’re ever likely to hear. That said, once you have heard it (and I’m talking to the men in the audience), you will find it impossible to pass a group of attractive young women without the riff pumping through your brain.

Iggy Pop – Pussy Walk

Send In The Clowns

There’s nothing funny about a clown in the moonlight.
Lon Chaney

Mark Kozelek – Send In The Clowns

Berserker: the art of Jonathan Meese

Here we go, boys and girls. I’ve been waiting for someone like this to enliven the art world for quite some time. Dressed in the grubby tracksuit uniform of the sink estate and looking like the flawed doppelganger of a late-80’s Gibby Haynes, Jonathan Meese is a German artist who casts his talents across a whole range of disciplines – from painting to sculpture, to installations and – you guessed it – “performance”. Meese went to art school in Hamburg, but left before completing his studies, and his work was soon picked up by the Berlin gallery Contemporary Fine Arts. Ten years on, and he’s still operating at the pace of far younger men who feel they have to prove themselves to the world, which begs the question: what’s driving him?

Clearly a product of his time and place, his body of work is a psychosexual stew of pop culture, heavy metal symbols, pornography, standard horror tropes and, of course, hurling it’s shadow across it all is the glowering eagle of the Third Reich. Unlike Gottfreid Helnwein, who approaches the dark and heavy legacy of Nazism with a certain degree of seriousness, Meese is quite clearly taking the piss. On his MySpace page he lists amongst his friends Wagner and Eva Braun, and in his performance pieces – and virtually every time a camera is pointed in his direction – he is cranking his arm in salute to the long-dead Fuhrer like a fevered onanist. Hitler remains the uberbogeyman of our times – endless documentaries about him clogging up the evening TV schedules, dozens of breezeblock biographies written by men obsessed beyond all rational argument by their subject, broadsheet column inches trailing off into infinity debating the morality of owning – or even wanting to look at – one of his piss-poor watercolours. He’s also been an easy reference for anyone – cinematic auteur, underground comix artist, rock musician – out to shock their audience into paying attention, so it should come as no surprise that high art wants in on the act. But ’shock’ only works once, and after you’ve got their attention you have to follow through with something of genuine substance.

What then are the roots of Meese’s work? German expressionism, Viennese Actionism, Josef Beuys, perhaps? Chuck in a bit of Clockwork Orange, Sven Hassel, Iron Maiden, Freddy Krueger, Sgt Kabukiman: NYPD, poor toilet training and not having met enough people in his life prepared to say “NO” to him and you have the perfect ingredients from which to create – Weird Science-style – an artist ideally suited to the early 21st century. Still suffering from the brutal hangover of the previous ten decades, and subdued into a kind of half-hearted nihilism by the collective lack of hope in the future, an art designed to effectively express this malaise is obviously going to involve… paintings of big scary faces, feral Honey Monsters, chocolate golems and lots of Maltese croses and toilet door cocks thrown in for good measure. When I first saw these paintings I cracked out laughing, and then recalled a row of garages that used to stand in my home town where teenage metalheads had established a porn & lager dungeon, decorated with crude facsimiles of their favourite album covers. Their ‘work’ was gaudy and comically-bad, but to witness them in the dark, with no-one else around, was quite an experience. It felt like you were stumbling through the ruins of the Abbey of Thelema, and it made me wonder what state of mind you would be in after hammering the Special Brew or huffing Superglue fumes in such an environment. Meese’s work on the other hand, hangs on plain white walls and suffers as a result. Gestalt is everything with this kind of imagery, and fed through the rinsed prism of the Saatchi Gallery Meese’s “pantheon of fiendish deities” lose their clout somewhat. It’s true, I’m absolutely fascinated by these images, but primarily because I can’t quite believe he’s got away with it, and the more high art piffle you use to celebrate his vision (“Meese downsizes his necromancy for intimate veneration… his unpredictable gestures contain a savant sophistication in their vulgar naiveté… a self-proclaimed cultural exorcist…he adopts a shamanistic role, schizophrenically channelling all manner of chaotic zeitgeist and psycho/media debris”) the more you begin to suspect that somebody, somewhere, is pissing up your back and telling you it’s raining.

Alongside the paintings, his performance pieces are particularly noteworthy, especially a recent debacle at the Tate Gallery in London featuring our hero made-up like a geisha stood within a wrestling ring dressed as an outward expression of his mind: skeletons, mannequins, street trash, and photographic blow-up’s of Jimi Hendrix and, of course, himself. Video projectors relayed the action live, cut-up with scenes from his favourite films, while Meese drank whiskey straight from the bottle and bellowed semi-coherently at the audience. Inevitably, the carnival atmosphere soon went awry and he began picking fights with some of his own props, bludgeoning them with sticks and snarling insults. This went on for over an hour, until the plug got pulled and he was forcibly removed from the arena. Some were thrilled, some left in tears, and I especially like the quote from one member of the audience who said: “I feel like I’ve been used like a nappy.”

Going back to the Gibby Haynes reference for a moment, all of this sounds like a typical Butthole Surfers gig circa 1988, with gruesome surgery footage displayed alongside scenes from the Dukes of Hazzard played in reverse, while in front of all this you had Gibson Haynes himself, covered in clothes pegs and flour, screaming and rolling about on the floor. The difference, again, is gestalt, as the Butthole Surfers were a rock band and were expected to go as far as they did (somebody had to), all completely off their heads on acid and goaded on by their demented audience. Whereas Meese conducts his “performances” in a gallery setting, where patrons sit politely and witness the spectacle or stand holding their catalogues and glasses of wine, unsure how to respond. I can see that with this character it’s an essential part of his public persona, but isn’t it all just a pose? Has he cleverly spotted a niche in the market and fashioned himself an alter-ego to suit? Is he – and therefore the work itself – ‘authentic’? Does it even matter?

I’m reminded here of the quote from Peep Show, where Mark Corrigan makes another Hancock-esque assessment of the world: “That’s just how it is these days – put a zip here, a swastika there, why not? Who knows what these things were once used for… and who the hell even cares?” I’m reminded of the Evening Standard advert that showed a picture of a policeman with a truncheon about to brain someone behind the banner slogan: ‘Evening Kick’Off’. I’m reminded of the photo I saw of some Hoxditch wanker twat’s “pad” where one wall had been decorated with a stylised rendition of the famous photograph of General Nguyen Ngoc Loan executing a Viet Cong prisoner in Saigon. Nobody gives a fuck anymore, and absolutely anything goes, so in terms of accurately representing that world then Jonathan Meese seems more than qualified for the task. And so, in closing, I’ll draw your attention to the words of George Diez, who recently wrote an article discussing the phenomenon of modern German artists  who “want to warm themselves at the fire of dangerous ideas.” Meese isn’t the only artist he cites, but Meese is the one that he feels is the prime mover, and suggests that it’s the rise of radical Islam that has inadvertently triggered this reaction, this adolescent fascination with totalitarianism. Stating that “the idiocy of artists is sometimes visionary” he seems to be implying that in his own way Meese the slavering savant, the gallery hooligan, has got something to say. I’ll leave it to you to decide just what that might be.

The Sinking Belle

The Sinking Belle - painting by Rik Rawling 2010

Here’s my latest painting in the Project Altar series.

SunnO))) & Boris – The Sinking Belle

Love Like Blood

If blood, cocks, the cross, spunk, milk, false fingernails and cumming over your desired one’s face doesn’t say life, death and resurrection then you are a sad fucker and no amount of intellectual argument is going to save you.
Bill Drummond

Killing Joke – Love Like Blood

Slaughterhouse Five

Everything is all right, and everybody has to do exactly what he does.
Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five, Chapter 9

Part of me really does wonder if a book like Slaughterhouse Five could even get published today. The world we live in is far crazier and more outlandish than anything most writers of science fiction could imagine, and I’m sure that those who accept the world as it is and don’t question what’s going on would never understand what Vonnegut was trying to articulate.  As the man himself said: “If you can do a half-assed job of anything, you’re a one-eyed man in a kingdom of the blind.”  Those who’ve read the book will hopefully understand the song choice below:

The Dave Howard Singers – Yon Yonson

Sweet Child O’ Mine

Sweet Child O' Mine

This is a portrait of my daughter, painted over a period of weeks between December 2009 and January 2010. It now hangs on the wall in our living room – the first time my better half has allowed anything I’ve painted to be displayed, which is fair enough when you consider my usual subject matter.

Guns N Roses – Sweet Child O’ Mine

Act Of Love

If you recognise this picture, then you know what happens next…

Bard Pond – Wank